Bronson and the Moon

Charles Bronson is similar to most normal people in one aspect; he hates the Man in the Moon. You know, always looking down at us with that stupid expression. One night Bronson was contemplating his hatred for the Man in the Moon and he got real pissed. So he went to a nearby playground and stood on one end of a see-saw. He threw a huge anvil on the other end and launched himself at the moon. He landed right on the face and then proceeded to squeeze out a 7 lb. log (the same log would weigh 42 lbs. on Earth. Pretty cool.). Then he planted a pirate flag in the log just to prove he was there. You can see it if you have a big enough telescope. Below is a picture I took through my telescope:



Once he was done he jumped back towards Earth, using his face to re-enter the atmosphere.

NOTE: people have been asking me if Bronson held his breath the whole time or if he had a space suit. The answer is neither. Charles Bronson can synthesize breathable oxygen by chewing up broken glass in his mouth. He used the same technique when he killed the Loch Ness Monster.


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