Christopher Columbus.....Kicks Ass!
OK, I'm sick of everybody talking shit about Columbus. Columbus was a bad ass and probably had gigantic cast iron nuts. The dude took three small ships, started sailing west, and was not even completely sure how far he needed to go or even if he would get anywhere. But he convinced some king and queen that it was a worthwhile endeavor, managed to get a crew together and went for it. And why? Just so that he could prove that he was a bad ass and live the rest of his life rich and powerful. So what if it was the beginning of the end for the Indians? It’s their fault for being there first. And who cares if Leif Erickson already discovered America? His problem was that since he was a Viking (which is cool) he was probably drunk all the time and so preoccupied with killing (which is cool) that nobody really believed him.

Anyway, I think I make a pretty strong case that Columbus kicks ass hard and I enjoy having his day off.


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