BIKE HELMETS
Bike helmets are for losers and little girls. How did it ever come to pass that people are required to wear those wussy looking helmets when riding a bicycle? I remember the first time I saw somebody wearing a bike helmet I thought he was retarded and I made fun of him. When I was little, me and my friends did all kinds of crazy shit on our bikes. Sure there were lots of bloody elbows and scraped hands, but I never remember anybody falling off of his bike and landing on the very top of his head. Man that would have been funny though. We had the cool bikes too. The kind with only one speed. What the hell do you need 24 seperate gears for? What are you going to do with so many gears besides break something expensive? And forget about the extremely effective front and rear hand brakes. Give me the mechanism that locks your back wheel when you pedal backwards and makes you skid uncontrolably. That's bike riding. Skids are cool. Tests show that boys who wear bike helmets grow up liking other boys too much.


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