I like to go to parties. I think most of us do. But sometimes it gets old, all of us crowded in some house, the same old booty music playing off someone's computer, and a long-ass keg line. I like parties with a theme.
Below is what four years at UofM (with plenty of trips to MSU and Western) taught me.THE 80s PARTY
Tried and true, the 80s party is by far the best of the popular decade theme parties. Is that a surprise? There is no disco, no hippies, and no need for hip-hop. Everyone knows hip-hop blows like a whale. Plus everyone knows that the 80s kicked ass hard. The key to a good 80s party is some sweet 80s ballads. Scorpions, Def Leppard, and of course, Bon Jovi. The more Jovi the better. Then get plenty of beer, and plenty of hot randy chicks dressed like Maddona or Cindy Lopper and you're all set.PIRATE PARTY
When I return to the US, I plan to have a Pirate Party every September. Everyone dresses like a Pirate and says things like Arrrr and Ahoy Matey. The girls' costumes should be quite revealing. Have lots of Rum (Captain Morgan is best) and lots of those chocolate gold coins in treasure boxes. Chocolate is good. I also suggest having some Jovi playing (Pirates like Bon Jovi). As long as there is plenty of rum and hot chicks this party will be a success.HALLOWEEN PARTY
If there was a party kingdom, the Halloween Party would be king. Halloween is the best holiday. It is better than Christmas, and well, nobody cares about all those other holidays. Everyone has to dress up for a halloween party. If you are too lame to even come in costume to a halloween party, then there is no hope for you. Girls shoud be something sexy like mermaids, cave girls, or geishas. Unless you're an ugly girl, then you should just stay home. And you have to make your costume. Buying a costume is kind of lame. But its better than nothing I guess.EDWARD 40 HANDS
I heard about this one from Mark. I'm not sure what genius spawned this idea but you duct tape a 40oz to each hand (need and assistant) and you can't remove them until both are finished. Becomes problematic for the weak-bladdered. Get a few hot randy bitches to show up and this sounds like a guaranteed success.SUPER HERO PARTY
Here everyone dresses like a super hero. Its pretty simple. I was surprised, though, at the one super hero party I went to how many guys dressed like the Ambiguously Gay Duo......Anyway, yeah, have lots of randy bitches there, you get the picture.CAMPING
Camping is pretty damn sweet. If you insist on bringing a Keg out into the woods though, dont go with anything bigger than a pony, shit its hard to take half-barrels out there. And try to find a spot near the rail road tracks. You cant understand how cool a huge train zipping by 60+ MPH when you're drunk as hell can be until you've seen it. Try throwing rocks at it and see if you can make sparks. Camping seems to generate the most hook-ups of any party, which is a major plus. Bring Ball Park Beef Franks, Smores stuff, a stereo to play some Jovi, and some tents.ARNOLD NIGHT
Simple, just get the guys together to watch an Arnold movie. Order some Hungry Howies Meat Lovers Pizza with Cajun Crust (Kick Ass!) and have plenty of beer. Best movies include Commando, Predator, Total Recall (they are the most violent). You will have a tough time getting any randy chicks to come to this party since chicks dont seem to appreciate a good Arnold movie. (note: Arnold Night can also be Bronson Night, as Charles Bronson is equally uncompromising.)4th of JULY PARTY
Doesn't have to be the 4th of July, just any party with a shit load of fireworks and explosives. Things to try are Roman Candle fights, lighting off about a hundred or so bottle rockets at once, or throwing a big pile of bottle rockets in the fire and running around like retards while they shoot out in every direction. If nobody gets hurt or burned, then you aren't doing it right. Whoever said beer and explosives don't mix was probably a gay homosexual.
In addition to the suggested party themes, here are things you can add to any party to make it better.
FLIP CUP (dumbasses call this flippy cup or tippy cup)
Flip Cup is the best drinking game. Anyway, there is no limit to how many you can have on a team. Suggest trying guys vs. girls strip flip cup, but only if you put Kyle on the girls team. I'd give instructions on how to play flip cup but unless you are a total loser you already know.BEER PONG
Probably the best overall drinking game when played right.JOVI
FIRE AND/OR FIREWORKS
A simple way to make a good thing better.RANDY BITCHES
ARNOLD MOVIES
BRONSON MOVIES
THE CAPTAIN'S CHALLENGE
Heard about this from Adam. Apparently it consists of one cup of Captain Morgan and two cups of Capn' Crunch in a bowl and some predetermined amount of time you have to finish it. I've never seen this done. I like Captain Morgan but this sounds like it is guaranteed to make you hurl.
Back to the Righteousness