Below you will find the history of where Pete came from

Most people don't know this, but I am actually the result of a genetic experiment which was meant to create the ultimate human being. You see, at the end ofthe 70's scientists gathered DNA from Sun Tsu, Audie Murphy, Captain Morgan, and Vegeta the Saiyan Prince.

The DNA from these four sources were combined to make a single mighty sperm cell.

Now, this sperm cell escaped, and as legend has it, he ravaged the countryside for days before he chanced upon an unconcious pikey whore, who smelled of cheap Irish whisky and feces.

Then in brutal hand to hand combat, the super sperm easily defeated the sperms of the many other men that the pikey whore had been with that night.

Now, with nothing left to stop him, the super sperm forced his way into the pikey whore's egg, and thus I was concieved.

This story may seem unbelievable, but actually the evidence of my heritage is quite obvious. From Sun Tsu came my intelligence and my cold philosophy. From Audie Murphy came my fearlessness and my leadership skills. From the Captain came my lust for adventure, women, and booze. From Vegeta came my strength and my indestructability, like how things such as broken glass and motorcycle accidents cannot hurt me.

......And sadly, from the pikey whore came my looks.


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