PIRATE CUISINE

Pirates like to eat meat primarily. If you are ever ordering pizza with a pirate he will probably want to get about five kinds of meat on it. They get really pissed when people try to ruin their pizza with stupid shit like mushrooms and pineapples. Pirated also love to eat Beef Flowers. But it is difficult to get meat to last on their long sea voyages looking for places to pillage. So they also like to kill all kinds of animals like sharks and whales and eat them too.

Pirates also love chocolate. Chocolate kicks ass. Especially those Hershey Symphony bars, man those are good. If pirates come ashore by your house, you might want to have some chocolate to give them (they will probably be all out of chocolate after a long voyage). Otherwise they might lose their tempers and you’ll be in big trouble.

Pirates also love rum. They drink rum with and between every meal. A good spiced rum straight from the bottle is the pirate way. Arrrrrr.

I would also like to add that Pirates love Tots. Tots rule, especially when then are very crispy and greasy. Tots can also be stored in your cargo pockets for later (was Napoleon Dynamite a pirate?) which is a bonus.

Click here to see the Pirate Food Pyramid


Back to the Righteousness