PIRATE RANK

Pirate rank is very simple. First is the Captain who is a raging badass and has unchallenged authority over all. Next comes the First Mate followed by the Second Mate. After this it pretty much doesn’t matter, they are all the same, except for the Last Mate.

The Last Mate is the one douche bag on the ship that everyone agrees is the lowest as far as rank goes. He usually gets stuck scrubbing the poop deck all the time and he never gets any chicks. The Last Mate is basically like that one friend everyone had who really wasn’t a friend but people let him hang around anyway so that they could make him pay for beer and pizza. Even the famous Captain Morgan had a Last Mate on his ship, Last Mate Lee who was an annoying pussy.


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